Monday, 6 May 2013

The one about the 2002 elections

From newsline November 2002 Benazir Bhutto, fondly referred to by ARY as "Mohtarma," unveiled all her petty feelings and reservations about President Musharraf just a day prior to the elections. The audience witnessed Ms Bhutto's rash remarks, which would otherwise have been censored, "Mush to Bush ki gode mein charh kar baith gaye hain," and "Un ka to record hee toot gaya hai...chaye woh jahan bhi jayen, Washington ya Agra, un ka to record Benazir, Nawaz Sharif, Benazir, Nawaz Sharif hi bajta rehta hai !" And she did not stop there. She droned on endlessly in her nasal tone about how Pakistan was involved in the strikes on the Indian Parliament - setting off a flurry of anti-BB letters in the Pakistani press. And some interesting calls to ARY in the days that followed, including some from PPP loyalists, who were disgusted with their leader's remarks The funniest was when Mariam and Naushaba were discussing the polling turnout in the Punjab. "Surprisingly, the election has brought about quite a low voting turnout..." maintained Mariam who was then saved by Amir who said, " I beg to differ, Mariam. We've witnessed an average of 45 to 50 per cent turnout in the Punjab, which is quite good..." Funnily enough, the Election Commissioner announced the name of the constituency, the contenders and the votes they had received, without actually singling out the winner. When asked by someone present, he rudely reponded, "Ab aap khud hisaab laga len..." Fortunately, Ardeshir Cowasjee and Ikram Sehgal awoke viewers from their slumber. Ardeshir was, as always, his self-righteous, curt and outrageous self. When asked by Dr Shahid in London, what he would do if he was appointed Prime Minister, Ardeshir roared: "I won't accept such a position. Yeh sala 160 million Jat logon par hakoomat karne ka humain koi shauq nahin hai." Ikram Sehgal, however, came to Cowasjee's rescue. "He has an edge of 20 years of bitterness over me. In another 20 years, I might be talking in the same manner," said Sehgal. Maulana Shah Ahmed Noorani meanwhile vented his brand of Islam, and talked of how women must be kept behind seven veils and that "30 lakh b*****ds are born in the UK every year, due to co-education." Enough to turn the stomach of any sane and liberal viewer.

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